When we set an intention we plan to keep it. We expect to follow through and create that vision “no matter what.”
If it’s a true, from the heart, authentic desire, we won’t be deterred by a little bump in the road.
But we all have a stopping point, if we’re honest.
We all have a point in which we will abandon or postpone the intention. The stronger the desire, the less likely we are to get derailed, but we all have a breaking point.
The more we understand what tends to stop us, the more easily we can respond, rather than react, to the stressor.
As you read these 8 common reasons we quit on our dreams, ask yourself what tends to stop you.
Keep in mind these are ALL very valid reasons to stop!! As a conscious creator you get to choose if you stop or not.
Our response-ability allows us to consciously focus on how we can adapt in order to address the reality of the stressor AND move the vision forward simultaneously.
We can train ourselves to look for solutions and opportunities, rather than spinning out in flight, fight or freeze.
Here are 8 common stopping points…
“Ok, tomorrow I’m waking up at 5:00 to start my new morning ritual. I’ll have a couple hours of quiet time for myself to meditate, exercise. Ahh…it will feel amazing to get up and get organized for the day before everyone else wakes up.”
I set my alarm and fall asleep peacefully.
A half hour later the baby needs to nurse. (Is a new tooth coming in?)
An hour later, ugh nursing again.
Just as I’m falling asleep the dog jumps off the bed, walks to the rug, (because there’s something wrong with hardwood?) and vomits all over said rug.
My husband and I are both awake now.
After cleaning the rug, I’m finally settled back into bed when…
…the baby needs to nurse again.
I glance at the clock. 3:45. UGH, if I don’t sleep I’ll be a cranky, impatient mom and I’ll hate myself. I give up, turn off my alarm and fall asleep.
What is it about setting an intention to get up early and suddenly sleep becomes damn near impossible?
Common Stopping Point #1: Sleep Drama
One of my besties decided to do P90X (a rigorous home exercise program). Before she can even get started her foot has a tantrum. The doctor says it’s plantar fasciitis and she needs to stay off of it for a few weeks.
Common Stopping Point #2: Body Drama of any kind (aches, pains, cold, flu…you name it!)
Years ago I decided I wanted to stop depending on credit cards, get out of debt, and grow my business income. I hired a coach to help me. I’m cruising along, making progress until…
We notice a few drops of water on the tile floor. Hmmmm, that’s weird. The ceiling looks fine. My husband reaches up and pokes it with his index finger. It goes right through and water starts flowing out.
OMG, the evaporation cooler (ya know, the thing on the roof with constant flowing water?) leaked and we need a new…everything.
Other exciting breakdowns have included my car, my washing machine, my computer and my website (I’ll never forget the horror of realizing my site had been hacked and redirected to a porn sight).
Common Stopping Point #3: Shi*t breaks
I set the intention to make a quantum leap in my business. A month later someone I’m close to decides to leave an abusive marriage, with a baby, and needs lots of support.
In order to honor my intention AND show up in full support of my loved one which was equally important to me, I needed to decide to be unstoppable.
Common Stopping Point #4: Relationship Drama
Here’s another fun one. You decide on your vision. You plot a course. You start moving consistently in the direction of your goal and then…
a new opportunity comes along. POOF! Just like that your confidence and momentum vanish because you are now questioning your whole plan.
It’s essential that we keep our eyes open for opportunities the Universe has for us. When we set an intention, opportunities immediately move towards us almost like magic. It’s not magic, it’s Universal Law and it’s awesome! We draw opportunities to us like magnets, but if we’re not careful to discern true opportunity from distraction, we can spin out chasing one shiny idea after another.
Take an honest look at your tendencies and notice if you continually abandon your plans in order to say yes to new opportunities. If you do, shiny object syndrome may be a stopping point to keep a lookout for. True opportunities move us in the direction of our authentic intention. They may show up in unexpected ways, take a roundabout approach, or even look like a setback at first glance. When we move towards them, however, we can see they are aligned with our intention and support our vision rather than derail or distract.
Common Stopping Point #5: Shiny Objects
“College admissions look closely at your junior year so it’s critical to do your best.” I had heard it hundreds of times.
I had a plan to do my best. I was ready, organized, motivated.
My biggest challenge would be chemistry. Both of my grandparents had their PhDs in chemistry so I hoped that maybe, just maybe, I got some of their chemistry loving genes.
The school year started alright. I was keeping up and on track.
My boss passed away in October. Just 2 months earlier he sat me and my 7 fellow co-workers down to tell us he was sick. He asked us to stick with him to the end, to help him keep his little cafe running until he was gone and the doors would close. A couple people left, I stayed and watched helplessly as lesions gradually covered his body and he slowly lost his life to AIDs. The memories of his funeral are burned into my mind – hundreds of attendees, several of them covered in the same lesions. My heart ached for the loss of my boss and for all the men I saw at the funeral.
My focus waned, but I figured it was only October so I had time to re-group and pull off my A in Chemistry.
Later that same month, my best friend’s dad, a second dad to me, was diagnosed with cancer. I went into survival mode. Chemistry, and all my other classes, were the least of my concerns.
I distinctly remember saying, “people I love are sick and dying. Who gives a f*ck about chemistry?” I gave up on my intention to get that *must have 4.0 in your junior year.* I threw in the towel and consciously said, “f*ck it!.”
In February my Great Grandmother died.
On April 2, my best friend’s dad took his final breath.
I got a C in Chemistry. (It worked out in the end. I still graduated high school with honors and got into my University of choice).
Life can hit hard and sometimes the hits just keep coming. Tragedy strikes within our families, within our small communities and our global community. It can be easy to be derailed by all of it.
Getting an A in Chemistry wasn’t a heart mission for me. It was more of an obligation/ego desire, but if I’m not careful I can get overwhelmed and say, “f-it” and abandon or postpone even my most authentic desires.
Keep an eye out for the “f*ck its” and remember that when life comes down hard, there is a way forward that includes showing up for the crisis and your heart’s mission simultaneously. Adaptations will need to be made. Things will no doubt need to fall away to leave space for only the true priorities.
Common Stopping Point #6: F*ck it
Have you ever been in a moment of genuine ease, grace and happiness and then slowly, insidiously, thoughts start to creep in?
“Something bad is going to happen.”
“Things are too good right now, something is going to give any minute.”
Have you ever found yourself on guard waiting for the shoe to drop?
This state of anxiety keeps our minds spinning on trauma from the past and/or anticipating trauma in the future and it’s a result of hitting a happiness threshold.
Your happiness threshold is the amount of happiness you can handle before you start to become very uncomfortable and sabotage your happiness to come back to a more familiar state. (You can read more about this and what to do about it here).
When we hit our happiness threshold, we struggle to let ourselves completely settle into the moment.
Hitting the happiness threshold can stop us in 2 ways:
- We slow down or stop pursuing our intention because we are exhausted from managing the anxiety.
We tell ourselves we need a break, a bath, a nap, a glass of wine, comfort food, etc and suddenly we’re moving away from our authentic desire.
- We can create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If we hit the happiness threshold without realizing what we’re up against, it can cause us to unconsciously create the very drama we want to avoid. This can look like stopping points 1-5 – sleep drama, body drama, sh*t breaking relationship drama and/or shiny object syndrome.
Common Stopping Point #7: Hitting the happiness threshold
Years ago I was attending a 3 day mastermind event in New York City when news started to warn about a hurricane heading right towards us.
Hurricane Sandy was expected to hit and hit hard.
The event host was determined to go ahead as planned. If she were to cancel it would be right at the last minute. The City had announced it was closing the trains ahead of the storm so I knew I had a choice to make – grab one of the last trains back to Connecticut or wait out the storm in my hotel room.
Should I stay?
I didn’t want to miss out on the event, if the storm turned. I also didn’t want to “give up” or be “stoppable.” I wanted to physically, mentally, emotionally and energetically claim my determination to grown my business, come hell or high water (and by the looks of it high water was literally on its way!)
A hurricane was a good reason to stop.
I tuned into my intuition and decided it was time to go home.
Sitting on the train, I felt at peace with my decision. If the event went as scheduled I would forfeit my investment, which would be a bummer, but I knew I needed to trust my inner guidance.
I was safely home when I got word the meeting would be moved online creating a way for me to attend. Sandy was downgraded to a tropical storm, but many of my mastermind sisters were still stuck in NYC for several days.
As I said, all of these stopping points are really good reasons to stop. A hurricane, or another act of God, is a good reason to stop!
But with intention, determination and intuition there is a path forward. Sometimes we have to slow down or pivot, but we don’t have to stop completely.
Common Stopping Point #8: An act of God
Recap and Action Steps:
- Take a moment to do an honest assessment of what has stopped you in the past. (Every single one of the above has slowed me down or stopped me at one time or another). There’s no need for shame or judgment, just compassionate reflection. Is there one that tends to stop you most often?
- Be honest about how committed you are to moving beyond each of those obstacles.
- Brainstorm ways to keep moving forward if/when each of the obstacles presents itself. What kind of support might you need? What self care practices would you need? What resources would help you stay on track with your vision while also showing up for the reality of the situation?
- Is there anything you need to create now? (i.e. self care practice, mentoring support, etc).
- Knowing you have the ability to respond to any obstacle, you can now confidently visualize your journey being easy and graceful. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and enjoy the ride.
XO
P.S. Whenever you’re ready…here are 3 ways I can help YOU become unstoppable and receive your heart’s most authentic desires:
–Grab your free Clarity Kit here. You’ll discover how your coping mechanisms and stalling tactics can work FOR you to propel you forward with ease and grace
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